University of California-Los Angeles Top Questions

It's alright to be alone. Really. You are an intense introvert who has trouble making really good friends, and you'll find that to have fun and to be liked, you will have to change yourself. It won't necessarily be in a bad way -- occasionally being loud and obnoxious and proudly owning up to having offbeat interests makes you refreshing and unusual. But there will be down times and low times where you'll feel alone because the few friends you do have at first seem interesting in everyone else but you. Don't let your loneliness make you do stupid things. Just because you're craving attention doesn't mean you can take advantage of other people. That being said, just because some people are a bit odder than others doesn't lessen their potential as friends. You will end up befriending people your parents would probably disapprove of, but they will also be the best friends you will ever make. Don't be afraid -- of being yourself or accepting others.

I would have told myself not to have been so passive as an incoming Freshman. I can definitively say my greatest mistake in college was failing to challenge myself socially. Having gone to an all male Catholic high school, I had difficulty interacting with women and had a tough time making female friends initially. As such I became active with floor government and eventually became a student leader for 2 years (basically an RA program-wise, but without the responsibilities of looking after students). This helped me greatly acclimate to the new social scene, but for the better part of the first year I was fearful to engage socially. Thankfully, I can see how irrational this fear was and have long since overcome it, so much so that I laugh when I compare my past self to my current self. I suppose my fear was not entirely useless, I am grateful that I learned to push myself even though I may not have been comfortable. Despite this, current Alex would vehemently tell past Alex, "Everybody's the same: scared and ready to make new friends. Just say Hi. Trust me. It works."

Don't worry about what other people think you should make of your college experience, because adjusting to college is hard enough without having to conform to expectations. While it's good to break out of your comfort zone and experience new things, do so at a pace that feels right. A good college experience is relative, after all.

Studying is a must! Some classes only have a midterm and final, so if you mess up on etither test, your grade will suffer. Do not attempt to pass your classes by only cramming the night before. Find a studying technique that works for you and stick with it.

If I were able to travel back in time to advise my high school senior self, I would tell him to get more involved. Joining clubs that match your interests is not only enriching to your life, but you will also meet people that share your similar interests, and have so much fun with them, whether you are working or playing. Furthermore, being actively involved gives you good time management skills, which is extremely valuable in college and in life. Also, I would tell myself to spend more time doing college-research, especially looking into financial aid, which includes grants and scholarships. Therefore, I would be more prepared for college, and the financial aid I would have received would have made my first year at college easier.

If I could give advice to my high school self based off of the information I know now, I'd tell me to not change a thing. Even though in my freshman year at UCLA I faced monumental hardships, I believe that without those experiences I wouldn't be the person I am today. The great thing about life is that there is no handbook on how to live, so every moment is an opportunity to learn about yourself and the world around you. I could easily tell the senior me to stay focused and no partying, but then I wouldn't have those classic college freshman year stories to tell my children when I'm older. I'm a firm believer in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason". The most important lesson I grasped from my freshman year is that life happens unexpectadly, and it would be unfair to rob myself of this realization by warning my high school senior self about the trials and tribulations that lay ahead. The best advice I could give myself is make the best of the experience, because there will be no one from the future to guide you along the way.

Take the time to discuss ground rules with your roommate. If problems arise, talk about them right away so negative feelings don’t fester. It’s hard to invest your all into your education if you have a stressful living situation. Wait to pick a major. Don’t get tried down to the major you listed on your initial college application. Instead, take classes from a variety of disciplines and find the area you are the most passionate about. Your major should turn out to be the section of the catalogue you always find yourself going back to. Get to know some of your professors. Going to office hours can be a great investment in your academic success. No one can better guide you through a course than the person who has put it together. Getting to know your professor will also make asking for recommendations in the future less intimidating. Make a college bucket list. Students can lose track of some of the great things colleges offer beyond the classroom. So write a list of all the things you want to accomplish in your college years. Keep it written somewhere nearby. Check the list regularly and track your progress.

Dear Dana, You're finally graduating high school and heading off into the real world..sort of. I know you wanted to head right to EATM after high school, but trust me, going to LCCC first won't be the worst thing. I don't want to ruin the future, but I just want to let you know, everything works itself out. You're going to do things you never dreamed of and experience things that you had only been dreaming of so far. People are going to come and go from your life. You are going to get overwhelmed and scared and worry that you can't do this; but you know you can, and you will find that you can do this and more. You will find that you can live without people that you thought you couldn't, and you will meet people you don't know how you made it this long without. People will hurt you and let you down and they will also make you smile and help you back up. Through this all, you will be okay. And maybe you should tell mom before you get that tattoo. From Dana.

When I was in high school, I worked 2 jobs and thought that money was the most important thing and that school came second. I've realized now that I'm taking summar college courses, that college work is going to require a lot more studying and focus and I can not over work myself at a job and ignore school work. I would tell myself as a high school senior to check my priorities, because had I focused more, I would have met the criteria for big scholarships and would not be struggling to pay for school. I would have made myself work, but not nearly as much as I did. I would tell myself to study more, and not be so dependent on money when I really didn't need it.

The most important advice that I could give my high school self about college would be to not be afraid of cutting ties with people that I knew from high school. I spent too much of my freshman year trying to make old friendships and relationships work rather than meeting new people. I went home far too often. I would tell myself that the people who are worth keeping around will still be there even if I haven't seen them since last Christmas. Keep in touch online, but stay on campus to go to events and hang out with your dorm community. Find a club meeting that sounds interesting, and go to it, even if you have to go alone. College wouldn't have been any fun without the friends that I made there, and I wasted too much time not meeting them.