Stony Brook University Top Questions

Many times while day dreaming, I sit and wonder if I could go back in time to my younger self, what would I tell myself? After much thought, I realize that there are only three things I would have to tell myself. The first is to make lifelong friends who I could rely on whenever I needed to. The second is to focus on school work because our future is important and grades are very important. The final thing I would tell my high school self is to cherish your family and the moments you have with them. Make every moment with them count. Knowing these things back then would have changed my life for the better. Although there is no “undo” button in life, I like to imagine what my life would have been like if given the opportunity. I believe my college life and post-graduate life would have been greatly changed

You’re going to fail sometimes and that’s okay. With every step you take outside of comfort zone you’ll become a new and more confident person; the person you wanted to be in high school, but were too afraid of failure to become. You won’t always succeed. Sometimes you’ll gather your courage and speak up in class or try something new, only to have it end in failure. Eventually you’ll learn to file your mistakes away as lessons and utilize them as motivation. You’ll always be nervous about speaking in front of crowds, but take a breath and do it anyway, because your experiences and opinions make you a unique person who has a lot to offer if you only give yourself the chance. Your interests will shine through and your excitement will light up your entire being, captivating your audience as you realize you have the potential to inspire others. At presentations and performances your heart will pound, your throat will tighten, you’ll be dizzy with nerves, and you’ll love every second of it. Don’t allow your fear of looking foolish stop you from accomplishing your goals.

Looking back at the situation of my life as a high school student and all the life changing events that surrounded it I could have benefited from finding a strong female role model. My high school self was a good student with no mother and an over worked father lacking the support of extended family. As a now strong women in the nursing workforce I would have told my highschool self how important it is to get involved with activities of interest while in school. This discussion would be supported with words of empowerment to pursue scholarships that would enable admission to college. It would also be important to motivate my highschool self by providing the various resources to support work towards entrance to college and encouraging this thinking half way through high school. It would be challenging to stress the importance of working towards an education versus building a social life as most of the students in my high school lacked motivation to continue on to college. A discussion on how putting work into pursing and obtaining a good education might lead to a happier and healthier life full of many rewards might have been reinforcement to previous discussions.

Get involved in everything you can. Try new things. Take leaps. Even if you don't like it, you just cross it off your list and move on to your next interest. You will find your niche. But don't let your work ethic slip! Some of the best advice I ever heard was "Treat college like a 40 hour a week job: if you don't spend 40 hours in class, spend the rest of the 40 hours in that week studying outside of class." Take leaps, make mistakes, do some stupid things! Don't squander your college experience!

Be ready with a plan, write it down. Know what you want then go for it. Everything is possible. Don't doubt yourself, everyone does, none need to. What is next is exciting. Walk froward with welcoming arms. Mom and dad won't be around so much, this is your chance to show them that they have nothing to worry about. Try new things. Focus on your studies but focus more on your relationships with people. Be kind to everyone you meet. You will be surprised where you end up doing the most learning. Don't dwell in your mistakes because they aren’t mistakes at all, they are just more lessons that college has to teach. Enjoy the moment, each and every single one, you have no idea how often you will visit these upcoming memories. Enjoy as much as you can so you don’t spend the future wishing to return to the past. Focus on learning the things that make you happy so that you may practice the things that give you purpose. Fall in love if you can, you aren’t too young and life is supposed to be fun. Trust me, I know you. Cheers.

Be bold and don't stop! Don't take the break and go straight to college. You CAN do it and you WILL excel at it. It will change your life. It may not seem like a big deal now and you may feel like other things are more important, but you will be amazed at what you'll do with the degree. You're smarter than you think you are and I know you can do this. Don't be afraid to speak up, lean in and be yourself. You're going to change the world.

To start, I would have told myself to be more connected with my friends from high school. I realize now that wherever I go, I'm going to make new friends but it's just nice to keep in touch with people. Also, I would have warned myself about how expensive college textbooks and supplies were going to be. If I had known this crucial bit of information, I probably would have gotten a job earlier in high school. My final reminder to my past self would be to tell him that college days can fly by even faster than high school days. You get so caught up in the rush of things that you forget to keep track of time. You come in as an inexperienced freshman and then, just like that, you're at your graduation ceremony receiving your diploma ready to take another giant leap into the world.

Dear Adam, You wrote a letter to yourself at the end of junior year and opened it the summer of your senior year. This won't go back in time, but one purpose of reflecting is to act as if I'm actually talking to my former self so that I learn the lesson I'm trying to impart. I want to ask you some questions. Why did you only apply to two colleges? What changed from junior year when you wanted to apply to ten colleges? The purpose of these questions is not invoking an answer. The purpose is to inspire thoughtfulness. You react quickly to your impulses and lack self control. You avoid difficult obstacles and consider time a burden. My advice to you is to take a breath, momentarily stop time, and think. You are smart, and thinking is the best way to understand your values and adhere to personal principles. You are distracted by high school, but time goes on and the decisions you half heartedly make will catch up with you in a present moment one day. You can't avoid this, but you can prepare for it. That's how you can be content.

Throughout my senior year of high school, I was bloated from the high marks I received in Honors Calculus, Marine Biology, and AP Computer Science. I concocted the notion that I was a scientist, and I was going to cure cancer with a biomedical engineering innovation. Yet, my true passion has been to become a lawyer. Running from the humanities, I applied to mostly science universities. This is when I should have heard, “Don't forget yourself. You hate science.” If I had received this message, it would have impacted me two-fold. The immediate impact would have been on my college application process. I would have applied to more and or different universities. This would have given me options to contemplate. The lasting effect revolves around class selection. I would have not taken as many science courses in my freshman year of college. Without those courses, I would have had a significant boost to my GPA and increased space for classes I enjoy. I would love the chance to gain a greater degree of happiness and intellectual development. A meaningful difference in my life could have been made with these six words, hypothetically speaking.

Do not think you can do well in college doing the same amount of work you did in highschool! The work that was able to pull you an A in highschool may not even be enough to get you a college C. There are exceptions, but for the most part, you're on your own in college. Teachers won't care if you do well or not as long as they're getting paid. Also, with all the adjusting you'll have to do to your new lifestyle on campus, do not get too distracted. Learn to manage your time effectively from the beginning. There is time for everything, and in the long run, what will matter the most are your grades. But that doesn't mean spend every second of free time you have in the library. You should also get involved in college. Clubs and extracirricular activities will set you apart when it comes time to write your resume. Most importantly, don't just study something that you think will get you money in the future. Find something you love, and with passion and hard work, money will follow. Good luck and enjoy the ride!